Letting go...

Remind me again why I'm wasting my time on you? oh ya... Maybe it's because everytime i see you chills invade my entire body and make me feel as if my entire being has been lifted, or maybe its because i can't drive away when i see you in the distance, even though i know you dont want me in your sight, or maybe just maybe it's because your everything i could EVER ask for stuffed into one human beings body. Baby:( you really are. Thats today, but tommorow will be different, I already know this...today your my baby. Tommorow your that guy im begging to want me...to call me? text me? What did i ever do to you but give you my unconditional trust and care. Am i really this pathetic? that I can't let go of a guy that can look me in my face and tell me that his heart doesn't belong to me, nor does he want to let me have it. Lord why? strike me with lightning! anything Lord, to be able to let go of stupid guys that easily take my heart play with it in whichever way they want and then just as simply as they found me they throw me away. Garbage. that's what that's called. that's what i am to them. and you know what? i can accept that, because one man's trash is another man's treasure. And i know one day i will be someone's princess, with the help of God and my bestestestestest friend:) everything will be okay, and i know that. Thank you God. Thank you very much!:) Goodnight people:)

Reality

I'm crazy........Maybe it's because my saturday nights are filled with smoke filled clubs and 40 year old prosititues trying to convince me there 25. Or maybe it's because I just don't feel like seeing it from the perspective that every other American would see it. But don't you dare tell me it's because I can't face my reality, because I have been face to face with the malicious side of my reality and frankly, I could care less to see it in his perspective as well. Life isn't about accepting it for what it is, it's about plotting against gravity and figuring out how you can flip the script on every civil person you meet...All I know is that if today was my last day on this earth, I would not be spending it with my family next to a warm fire eating marshmallows and glancing at my life's greatest impacts on the world, I would spend it in Brazil bungee jumping into the Amazon River. Im going to end on this note, I love reality, I truly do, we had a fair relationship once. But I love uncertainty even more, because even though I might not always be certain about what's going to happen next, I will always know that in the end everything will always end up okay...

...

Today was crowded by my thoughts of impatience. I just don't see how people can wait on something that they feel is irreplaceable in every way. I mean on one side of this wagon I feel like this is just Tara being her own impatient self, but on the other side I'm thinking NO! I deserve better than this and if I'm what you so call "perfect" i think i am eligible to be noticed and appreciated more than I already am....okay I can see your face right now...this chick is psychO! but im really not...I'm just a girl with a brain that truly does work overtime! so i think I'll let little billy rest for the night, gather all my "psychotic" thoughts and blog again in the morning. Til then...



Tara<3